I spent the better part of the last three weeks hiding inside my own thoughts. I was still going to work each day, going through the motions, doing what needed to be done, but not really interacting with anyone in a meaningful way and not making any sort of creative progress. I’m not exactly what changed on Friday, except a little bit of frustration with not knowing the start time of the burlesque show that night because I didn’t have my own Facebook account to go and look it up. That seems to have flipped the switch from ‘hide inside my own head’ back to ‘privacy is overrated, fuck it’. I only know these two extremes most of the time.
I turned on Facebook again Friday night. I’m not sure exactly what people will think of me reappearing and re-adding everyone all over again, so I’ve started slowly with people I know won’t think twice about such things. I am trying with Twitter, but it seems so desolate these days. Ello. Instagram. I even re-activated my Patreon account, after deciding that I can come up with $10 a month to support the artists I adore. My disappearance from there was always more about hiding than about money anyway.
Despite all of these steps, I’m still struggling to believe that I have anything to say that is worth hearing, or that anyone would want to interact with me on a deeper level than pushing a Like button on Facebook. I’ve told myself to keep quiet for so long, for fear that someone important will find out what I have said or written and yell at me. People are mean that way. Society is mean that way. I just don’t feel like living in a self-made box anymore and people are going to have to either get used to that or get out of my way.
Yesterday was the last real day of summer and warm weather. Today the rains are coming and the colder temperatures start tomorrow. We’re making more time for inside activities, but I really wish we still had some board games to play. My favorites were Monopoly and Pay Day, but I think we gave them both away a few years ago.
Today before it gets much colder, I need to figure out how to string some antennas for the winter. No outside antennas allowed, but I think locating the 5/8 wave 2m antenna in the attic should be fine for VHF, and a simple long dipole strung across the attic roof should be decent for HF. It is too cold in the attic for the radios themselves, so I need to figure out how to run a feed line down to warmer parts of the house. That is the tricker part, since the front room by the attic door is too full of sewing projects for a radio desk.